Wednesday, December 11, 2002
If ya can't stop the criminals, throw tax dollars at them.

While channel-surfing the other day I came across a speaker's corner segment. I've seen speaker's corner many times before and am quite aware that 9 times out of 10 the person yakkin into the camera is a moron, but I thought I'd watch it anyway. I look at it this way: If the person turns out to be an idiot, it's fodder for a post. If they turn out to be brilliant, I am re-assured that there are still people in this world with a couple brain cells to rub together. Either way, I benefit.

In this particular clip, a guy was giving us his advice on Vancouver's problem with street-racing. He was making a plea to the provincial and municipal governments of this province to band together to fight this dangerous behaviour. The guy was passionate. I think I could even go so far as to say he was angry that his idea had not already been put into practice. He said that if the government would just build these kids a race-track then the street-racing would stop. When, he asked, are the politicians and the community going to come to the realization that we have to build a place for these kids to race? If we don't, we'll be subject to the terror of street-racing on our downtown streets from now until the end of time!

This idea got me thinking. We could really clean up our streets if we put this theory into practice with other crimes. I mean, if we would all band together and build a place where people could legally take things they hadn't paid for there wouldn't be so much shoplifting going on. And if we'd just make a bank with an open vault where people could walk in and take money we'd eradicate all those armed robberies at real banks. And what about car theft? Why doesn't the government pay for some nice cars, park them in high-crime areas (unlocked, of course, with the keys in the ignition), and just let people take them? I bet there would be a serious decline in car theft convictions.

Oh this idea just keeps getting better. I can't believe none of us ever thought of this before. It's a damned good thing we have cameras on street corners where, for a buck, genius' such as this gentleman are able to grace us with his wisdom.

Fucking brilliant.